I'm Zach. I don't expect this blog to be much different from any other, but I like to think it is. So yeah. Talk to me if you want to know anything.
Things I am known to post about:
Magic: The Gathering
Whatever else I find attractive at the moment
OWNER: Hi, welcome to 'Adopt An Angel'. What can I do for you today?
SAM: Hi. Uh, my brother and I, we sort of have a bit of a dangerous lifestyle. We thought that maybe, if we had an angel to watch over us or something, it might be kinda useful.
OWNER: That's wonderful. What sort of angel were you looking for?
DEAN: Uh, like a guardian angel?
OWNER: They're all guardians. What qualities do you want in an angel?
SAM: One that listens to us.
DEAN: Right. A good one.
SAM: One that is able to heal us.
DEAN: Nothing too flashy.
SAM: Yeah, we really don't need an angel to show us up.
DEAN: Just your average, run-of-the-mill, guardian angel, maybe with a little bit of an inferiority complex so that it likes us enough to put our needs first.
OWNER: Male or female?
DEAN: If there's an option-
SAM: Don't even think about it.
DEAN: Fine. Male.
DEAN: No, tall.
SAM: I'm the tall one.
DEAN: But if this angel is tall, he can intimidate our enemies.
OWNER: Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Each angel comes equipped with a set of wings to intimidate any enemies you may have.
DEAN: Oh, well, in that case, make him shorter than both of us.
SAM: And scrawny.
DEAN: Exactly. Because we're the two muscular, tall guys. We run the show.
SAM: What show?
DEAN: Dude, it's a metaphor.
OWNER: Well, I think I have just the angel you're looking for. This one right here...
OWNER: That's right. His name is Castiel.
DEAN: His clothes are so...
DEAN: I was gonna say 'holy tax account' but not-plaid works. I suppose if we were to adopt him, we can make it wear whatever we want, right?
OWNER: Uh, no. This one is a bit like a Legoman. The clothes don't come off unless you take off his head. You don't plan on doing that, do you?
SAM: Can angels become vampires?
SAM: We don't plan on cutting off his head.
OWNER: Good. Our job here at Adopt An Angel is to give these angels a home, not a grave. Say hello, Castiel.
DEAN: What the hell's wrong with his voice?
OWNER: Ah. Now there's a reason for that. Human vessels have a relatively normal voice, but put an angel inside it, and that comes out.
SAM: But all the other angels sound normal.
OWNER: Okay, smarty-pants, you got me. Look, I'll be honest you guys. This one here, he's broken.
OWNER: Yeah, I found him in Damaged Goods.
SAM: What happened to him?
OWNER: Well, his father dropped him on his head when he was a baby. It was really terrible. All the dinosaurs died.
DEAN: Is there anything else you're not telling us?
OWNER: Yeah. Keep this one away from other angels. He's doesn't play very well with them.
SAM: How do you mean?
OWNER: He kills them. Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes it's not. Just be careful to watch over him.
DEAN: Wait. I thought that was his job? To watch over us?
OWNER: Like I said, this one is broken. Look, you guys ever watch Lilo and Stitch? 'Cause this angel is like Stitch. Give him a home and he'll give you his heart.
DEAN: That was friggin' sappy.
OWNER: He's also cheaper than health insurance.
DEAN / SAM: Sold.